Why Women Struggle to Invest in Themselves (and How to Change That)

As women, we’re brilliant at putting everyone else first.

We’ll happily spend on our families, treat friends to coffee, keep the wine rack stocked, and make sure the kids and grandkids have everything they need. Yet when it comes to spending time, energy, or money on ourselves? Suddenly the guilt creeps in, and we talk ourselves out of it.

Sound familiar?

Think about it:

☕ That daily coffee you grab on the way to work.
🍷 The bottle of wine (or gin!) you make sure is always in the house.
👟 The activities or extras you provide for your family without a second thought.

None of these things are “wrong”, but when you compare them to the way we hesitate at investing in something that could genuinely change our lives, it highlights a disconnect.

We’re comfortable spending on things that provide temporary comfort, yet resistant to spending on things that provide long-term transformation.

Why Do We Do This?

There are a few reasons:

• Guilt: We’ve been conditioned to put others first. Investing in ourselves can feel selfish.
• Fear: What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? What if……… – fill in the blank.
• Comparison: We tell ourselves others manage without help, so we “should” too.
• Worthiness: Deep down, many of us don’t believe we’re worth the investment.

But here’s the thing, you are your most valuable asset. If you’re burnt out, resentful, and running on empty, how can you show up fully for anyone else?

I get it, because I’ve been there too.

Over the years, I’ve invested a lot of money in myself. Yes, on training courses to build my knowledge, but also on coaching, retreats, and group programmes for me.  Some of them have worked and been amazing, some things I should have trusted my gut and not done it, but there was a lesson there so really, it was still worth it.

I’ll be honest: sometimes I’ve wondered if I could really afford it. Sometimes I’ve thought about skipping a session because I hadn’t ticked all the boxes I’d set for myself. But here’s what I’ve learned:

💡 It’s on those days, the ones where I don’t feel like showing up, that I’ve had my biggest breakthroughs.

Mindset work is never “done.” The difference is, I now recognise when I’m procrastinating, overthinking, or letting “Negative Nellie” run the show. I’ve learned how to step out of my own way, and I couldn’t have done that without support and accountability.

The value of investing in myself has been life-changing. Without it, I know I wouldn’t have achieved half of what I have, from moving to Wales, to building the freedom to support more women online, to saying “yes” to experiences like Europe’s fastest zipwire! (Although I’m still not sure if that was bravery or madness…).

So Let Me Ask You…

• What is it you’ve been putting off?
• What stories are you telling yourself about why now isn’t the right time?
• What could change for you if you chose to invest, not in another quick fix, but in yourself?

Because here’s the thing: the time will pass anyway. You can spend it staying exactly where you are, or you can take a leap and start moving toward something better, something different that you’ve never dared to dream is possible?

What stories do you want to be able to tell people when you’re 90?  Is it how you took you the plunge and re-trained at the age of 60 and set up your own business or is it a story of “I wish I’d had the courage to ….”

Do you want to be the fittest and strongest you’ve ever been in your 50’s or do you want to continue sitting moaning about how everything aches and how you can’t do even the simplest of everyday tasks anymore?

Your time, your energy, and your wellbeing are the most precious things you have. Unlike money, once time is gone, you don’t get it back. So why spend it always giving to others, putting things off until the timing is perfect or you’ve saved a little bit more and putting yourself at the bottom of the list?  Regretting not doing something.

The women who thrive in midlife are not the ones who have it all figured out. They’re the ones who made a choice to invest in themselves, and then watched everything else in their lives improve as a result.

💛 If you’re ready to stop putting yourself off and get out of your own way and actually start putting yourself first, I’d love to help. Book a free discovery call today and let’s talk about how you can move from surviving to thriving. 

Sandra X