Menopause may be the thing that gets us to pause

Menopause may be the thing that gets us to pause. But midlife is often about so much more than hormones.

October is menopause awareness month. And yes, menopause matters.

But if I’m completely honest, I think sometimes we can make midlife all about our hormones, our hot flashes, our sleep, our symptoms.

When actually, there can be something much bigger going on underneath it all.

Because midlife can make you stop. And I mean really stop.

It can make you start asking questions you perhaps haven’t had the time, space, or courage to ask before.

Is this really the life I want?

Who am I now?

What do I actually want from the next 10, 20 or 30 years of my life?

And perhaps most importantly, am I genuinely happy or have I just got very good at carrying on?

I’ve been there myself. I’ve spent years being a wife, a step mum, a business owner, a daughter, a friend. Being the one who gets things done, looks after everyone else, and somehow keeps all the plates spinning.

And I know I’m not alone in that.

So many women I speak to have spent decades putting themselves somewhere near the bottom of that list. Until one day the kids are older. They’re leaving home, heading off to university.

And life changes. Work changes. Relationships change. Our bodies change. Our priorities change. And suddenly. We find ourselves with a little more space to think.

And sometimes what comes into that space isn’t necessarily comfortable. Because we realise that some of the things we’ve accepted for years aren’t actually working for us anymore.

Maybe it’s the job, maybe it’s a relationship, maybe it’s the friendships we’ve outgrown.

Maybe it’s the way we spend our time. And maybe it’s the constant feeling of being busy but never really feeling fulfilled.

Or maybe it’s simply that we’ve completely lost sight of ourselves somewhere along the way, the small things we used to do just for us.

And I think that’s where midlife gets really interesting.

Because I don’t believe it’s about having a huge life crisis and throwing everything up in the air. Nor do I believe that you suddenly need to reinvent yourself, quit your job, move to Spain and buy a camper van. Although let’s be honest, some days that option can sound rather appealing.

I think it’s about being curious.

Curious about what matters to you now. Curious about what you want? Curious about the woman you’re becoming rather than constantly trying to get back to the woman you used to be.

Because we’re not supposed to be the same woman we were at 25, 35 or even 45.

We’ve lived. We’ve loved. We’ve lost. We’ve learned.

We’ve experienced heartbreak, joy, motherhood, loss, success, disappointment, change, and everything in between. Of course we’re different.

And perhaps that’s why this stage of life can feel so confusing. We’re standing between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, menopause can add yet another layer.

Our bodies are changing. Our energy can change, our sleep can change, our stress levels change, our confidence can take a knock. We might not recognise ourselves physically or emotionally.

But I don’t want that woman to come away from conversations about menopause thinking that this is simply something they have to get through. Because I think there is another conversation we need to have.

What if this isn’t just about getting through this stage? What if it’s about using this stage as an opportunity to finally ask yourself?

What do I want?

Not what does everyone else need from me? What am I supposed to be doing? Not what would make everyone else happy.

But what do I want? What brings me joy?

And I know those questions can feel incredibly overwhelming, especially if you’ve spent years making decisions based on everyone else’s needs. And sometimes you just don’t know where to start. And that’s something I understand deeply, both personally and through the women I work with. And that’s why I do the work I do. It’s not just about exercise or menopause. It’s about the whole woman.

Your health, your mindset, your confidence. Your relationships. Your boundaries, your energy, your sense of purpose. And ultimately your choices.

Because I don’t want women to reach this stage of life and simply settle for, well, I suppose this is just how things are now. Maybe some things can’t change. But perhaps more can than you realise. And sometimes the first step isn’t making a huge decision. It’s simply giving yourself that permission to stop. Take a breath. And ask yourself some honest questions.

What isn’t working for me anymore?

What do I miss about myself?

What would I love to have more of in my life?

And if I wasn’t worried about what everyone else thought, what might I choose for myself?

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t even have to know what the next step is. You just need to be willing to start the conversation with yourself.

And that’s exactly why I offer my free clarity call

It’s not a sales pitch and there’s no expectation that you have to sign up for anything afterwards.

It’s simply 20 minutes for us to chat about where you are right now. What’s feeling difficult and what you’d like to be different?

Sometimes talking it through with someone who isn’t emotionally involved in your life is enough to help you see things a little differently.

And perhaps that’s what this October could be about.

Not another month of being told what you should be doing. Because I think you all know where you can put your “shoulds”.   

What if we made this October a month of asking yourself?

What do I want this next chapter of my life to look like?

Because I genuinely believe there is so much life still to be lived and perhaps your next chapter doesn’t need to look anything like your last one. Maybe it’s time to find out what you really want it to look like. And if you’d like to talk things through, just click the link below and book a free call with me today.